All that I can ever do
is feel, believe and speak and move.
Although I do believe
I can perceive, I do perceive
what I believe - and then I speak and do
what I believe is true!
All that I can ever do
is feel and hold beliefs; although belief’s
a crowd of ancient nutters waving flags called ‘influence’.
So, maybe after all, what’s only possible for me
to Be
is Real:
to Feel.
Of the many people I have touched
it’s Andrew –
strange and unusual
even now, nearly 21 years on – who holds
my face to his own, forehead to forehead:
a chubby face, clear godlike eyes,
soft and strong muscles like living elastic.
I can look into the starburst
of an iris and see twinkle, concern, mischief,
truth, old age, and, much, much more
-a wisdom-
as he pushes against me pressing
head to head, heart to heart and saying
‘Come on Dad, you can do it, you can do it!’
Stand on two legs
like a stork, a hunter;
spindly but stable
and ready to be stroked
with a buzz of electric heat.
Earth supports fire,
fire spurts steam and hot air
up until the time we are flat.
I took a breath one day, began
to breathe in 1953
(after the war and victory)
a little man
unable to see.
Since then I’ve breathed a lot,
managed to shout,
escaped my cot,
run about
and used my lungs in cold and hot.
My chest has risen, sunk.
I’ve walked and swum and loved and slept
and all the while I’ve kept
on breathing in and talking junk
- on my out-breath - words inept.
But now I’ve started to yawn
en route to 2033
worrying (only occasionally)
about just when a little man
will take a final in-breath-out. We’ll see.
Keeping on side
is a good trick of memory
is an excellent habit.
A chap uncontained
by white lines while traveling
by now would be sleeping
so best stay on over
far away from your burial
for as long as is possible
but sometimes the devil
rants ‘what the hell matey!’
and I can be spotted
taking a corner
with wheels all a-straddle,
laughing and getting away.
can I ask a question?
It’s not a tough question
and, in the end, not really about you.
It’s more about me.
No need for anyone who’s ‘lost’ to knock or ring today
but can you help me notice please,
have I got a grip on everything?
You know! Like car keys,
trousers, glasses, diary
and how many times,
between now or then,
closed or open,
will I recite my tiny questions?
