Hope feels. Take here and now. Hope lifts,
transforms comfort and discomfort, goes
beyond them both – higher - not bereft
of potential, a spiral away to
ascend through fear but without theft;
transcending, transmuting whatever it started as
tremulously up to how things could be;
beyond entropy, decay or how it was:
look at the sun rising again and again, day after day;
listen to the radio, a boiling kettle's energy, voice.
We went sledging - boys do,
raking powder snow
turning, laughing, lugging back up
speckled white with neck drips, back drips.
Andrew hot enough to go first;
split-second tipping on an edge
then singing, giggling down the slope
to stop and to hold a statuesque pose
but now I have to send boys back:
no more sport but a hard kick
into my soul ‘til next time we meet;
a decision I made years ago
to end these moments - separate hearts -
my core melts down; I am a man of snow.
On a Supermarket run,
I drive a little faster than
considered legal, find
a few black cars pootling along
so I start to overtake them
chasing fast with my radio on
until I get the idea– like a sudden dawn –
it’s a loss to race a funeral procession!
In the end I slow down the outside lane,
drive at 20 – respect their long line
until all falls away, even sound,
with my lumpy throat and tears running down
for a life that is flowing and a life that has flown;
a heart that is thudding, a heart that has gone.
Connecting with your mate, become aware
it’s possible that one of you will listen
with every fiber of your being, care
enough to fish into reality; maybe not forgiving.
It’s not about good judgment or being fair
and, not to be confused with old suspicion,
this quality of engagement feels so rare
(because a normal human act’s controlling or permitting)
and when connection happens, every hair
raises like two spirits who are kissing:
so shall we offer up our truth and dare
because it’s all there is – and, frankly, all that’s missing.
A railway carriage like a clattering zoo
zooms and swaying people (some are bald,
or old or pony tailed:- none with tusks)
look out and worship fabled snow and sky
mobile talk and coughs; we travel fast;
riding rails within our fragile bubbles.
